Five least favourite Mamas & Papas songs

For a group with such obvious strengths, there's something about them that irks me. OK, a lot of things.

I can't believe people are wasting time getting put off by David Crosby when the likes of John Phillips, 'sitting next to Brian Wilson at Mozart's tea party', and Denny Doherty 'this robe used to be Mel Tormé's curtain', were just waltzing through the '60s.

The Beach Boys were the squarest band in town, yet the Mamas & the Papas were organizing Monterey. The only thing this proves, is that the world is unfair.

My 5 least favorite Mamas & Papas songs:

5. Glad to be unhappy

Dragging Rodgers & Hart's corpses down a dead-end road. The tension between the boring poppy bits and the boring middlebit is like watching a really boring car crash in slow motion. Contains the most unconvincing 'yeahs' in the history of teenagers.

4. For the love of Ivy

The Mamas and the Papas frequently feel it's a good idea for all four of them to start ad-libbing at the same time at the end of a song (see for example the toe curling end to their cover of 'Dancing in the street'). But this one is just a little bit worse. You can feel it coming in the middle eights, where out of the blue one of them (or a session musician) starts proving he couldn't really cut it as bass in any doowop band. But at around 2'40 all hell breaks loose, and I dare you to keep a straight face through the operatic 'Foooooor the lo-o-o-ve of Ivieieie' in the fade-out. At least it fades out.

3. Creeque alley

Oliver Stone's movie retelling of the M&P story should definitely contain a scene where John Phillips plays his new composition 'a story of their own band' to his bandmates. 'Wait for it' he sings, 'here comes the funny part', 'Ha ha, McGuinn & McGuire etc', 'Hey, Cass, you're fat!' Cue scene of Denny and Michelle doing it in an elevator.

Cass: 'Fuck John, I'm pregnant.'

The next song on the album 'Deliver' (they tell us it's about babies, but we know it's about pizza) is a Cass-vehicle called 'Sing for your supper'. Come on, John, rub it in.

2. Stringman

How many songs about your own history do you need? A co-write between Michelle and John wherein Michelle gets to tell John how bitchin' he looks pulling those strings. And how many tears she'll cry if he finds someone else.

This after his previous song 'No salt on her tail' promised her he wouldn't guilt trip her into staying with him.

Classy.

1. Words of love

Fuck this, Cass, I stood up for you. And you oversing me like this.
Who needs a cross between Nana Mouskouri and Janis Joplin anyway?

But anyway, my top 10:

10. Boys and girls together
9. Safe in my garden
8. Meditation mama (Transcendental woman travels)
7. Monday, monday
6. Dream a little dream of me
5. Strange young girls
4. Dedicated to the one I love
3. California dreaming
2. Once was a time I thought
1. Got a feelin'

Heavens of bliss, all of them.